Not for Creative Writing...

(The following is in the order of my thought process, and is an allusion to another journal, the original)
But for the greatest purpose to write, for self.
Now don't be confused.
This is not an act of selfishness, just an act of self-pity.
See, I find myself tonight at another crossroads, but not Beelze's crossroads, it's another one of mind.
I look in every direction.
Ahead of me is a path that is enjoyable yet extremely risky.
Behind me, I see treasure beyond belief, but I blew up the bridge to it.
To my left is the saddest, most destructive thing I've ever seen, that always tempts me, but I constantly refuse, or try to refuse rather.
And to my right there is the path of righteousness.
So I take the most unknown of the four.

I wonder where it will lead me.
Will it show me new views on old sights?
Will it answer my sleepless questions?
Will it lead me to happiness?
But most importantly, will I learn my lesson, or anything at that?

I hope, in succeeding in this epihony, that this helps me.
That it helps my kids.
That it helps my wife.

And yet, and yet I am simply a hope...

An Excerp From "Everything But Black and Red"

The will was written many years ago and was stored in a book that the father had written when he was younger (pre-lawyer, pre-child, post-first marriage). The book was hidden in the lawyer’s book shelves. The book was known as “Dumas’ Guide to Playing the Hardest, Most Sinful Game Ever Made; Poker.” His name was Sam U. Dumas and before he decided to start a real life with a family and an actual career, he was wild and in love. Her name was Delilah Connelly and they first met at a casino. She asked him what he was doing in the casino, “Business,” he replied. She asked him what he did for business, “Poker,” he answered. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the nearest table and showed how he worked. He made two million dollars and a woman to fall in love with him that night. With that money they spent the greatest night of their lives, all ending with a wedding.

Self Reliance

There is only one self really,
The self that drives you.
It determines what you can do.
Something powerful or something useless.
But then again,
Uselessness is in the eye of the beholder.

You may find yourself at a crossroads one day
Like Rob Johnson, or Johnny Blaze,
Being offered something very important to you.
You can either shake with cold hands
Or prove something of yourself,
Denying Beelzebub his fortune, your dismay.

There is only one true self.
The self that holds you
To what you can do with your life.
You could either kick back and waste your days living off of someone
Or make something of what you can or could do.
Free yourself and walk out the door.

My Mark On The World

Before I leave this world for the next I would like to leave a mark on it, in one (or more) of three ways.

1. I want to do something in someone's life that will help them determine who they are in life. This person would go on their life and do something that will make them remembered. When this person would have their life chronicled they would thank me for everything I did in their life.

2. I would do something destructive that would bring people together as the outcome of it. (I would do this at any cost)

3. I would improve something of/in the world that would put my name in history as "that" guy.

One of My Favorite Quotes

"I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none."

-Shakespeare